Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Smile A While !! - Funny Words
1) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called
"Saints"
But now they are called.. "IT professionals"
2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker ' s T Shirt:
"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
3.) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that,
One loves too much, And
the other loves too many,
4.) Employee:
Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS:
Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!
5.) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as
GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6.) What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams..!
7.) Useful
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wiseman cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
8.) Girl:
Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper:
Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl:
That ' s good, Give me 12 of them..!
9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you..! "
Applicant:
What is it?
Interviewer:
Its called the "door..!"
10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don ' t kill our Employee..... Leave them to us
"Saints"
But now they are called.. "IT professionals"
2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker ' s T Shirt:
"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
3.) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that,
One loves too much, And
the other loves too many,
4.) Employee:
Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS:
Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!
5.) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as
GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6.) What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams..!
7.) Useful
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wiseman cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
8.) Girl:
Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper:
Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl:
That ' s good, Give me 12 of them..!
9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you..! "
Applicant:
What is it?
Interviewer:
Its called the "door..!"
10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don ' t kill our Employee..... Leave them to us
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0
Dear Tech Support Team,
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as Bachelor Nights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, Beer With Buddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as Bachelor Nights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, Beer With Buddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
World's costliest Commercial (Ad) !!
This is the world's most costly Advertisement and the winner of last year's best Ad of the world.
It took 606 takes and re-takes to make this commercial and the total cost was $ 6.2 million for this 90 second commercial.
You could probably make a movie for that kind of money!
Everything is real with no graphics used and still look at the precision. The team that made this commercial won many awards.
Download : http://rapidshare.com/files/82426880/Fisica.rar
It took 606 takes and re-takes to make this commercial and the total cost was $ 6.2 million for this 90 second commercial.
You could probably make a movie for that kind of money!
Everything is real with no graphics used and still look at the precision. The team that made this commercial won many awards.
Download : http://rapidshare.com/files/82426880/Fisica.rar
Husband & Wife Funnies
I knew it was going to happen, but we just didn't know when. Here it is! Men's answer to Maxine.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Smart Kid - Funny
A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her studens in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!"
Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told
Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. The Boy was brought in and the
conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the 4th grade."
Madam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.
Madam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"?
Boy, after a moment "Legs."
Madam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it, u have to use urhand.
Boy.: Fork
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to
HARVARD,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!".
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!"
Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told
Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. The Boy was brought in and the
conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the 4th grade."
Madam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.
Madam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"?
Boy, after a moment "Legs."
Madam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it, u have to use urhand.
Boy.: Fork
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to
HARVARD,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!".
Funny Thoughts
A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School.
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"
* A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000
* Easiest way to die:
1. Have a cigar daily - you will die10 years early.
2. Have drinks daily - you will die 30 years early.
3. But love someone truly - you will die daily!
* What would confuse a mentally challenged person?
Answer: A pineapple.
Confused...? I knew you would be!
* How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !
* If you never want to see a man again, say: I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children - they leave skid marks.
* Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an a@@hole.
* Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.
* Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"
* A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000
* Easiest way to die:
1. Have a cigar daily - you will die10 years early.
2. Have drinks daily - you will die 30 years early.
3. But love someone truly - you will die daily!
* What would confuse a mentally challenged person?
Answer: A pineapple.
Confused...? I knew you would be!
* How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !
* If you never want to see a man again, say: I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children - they leave skid marks.
* Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an a@@hole.
* Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.
* Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Comedy : Funny Conversations
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child.
The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first.
She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me."
The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question.
The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to: me or the machine?"
The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first.
She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me."
The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question.
The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to: me or the machine?"
Military Funnies
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert.
During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
"Well, sir," is the nervous reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... m-m-m.... urges. That's why we have the camel, sir."
The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges.
Crazy with passion, he asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.
Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sex with the camel.
When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"Uh, no sir," the First Sergeant replies.
"They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."
During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
"Well, sir," is the nervous reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... m-m-m.... urges. That's why we have the camel, sir."
The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges.
Crazy with passion, he asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.
Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sex with the camel.
When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"Uh, no sir," the First Sergeant replies.
"They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Great(BIG) Player for NBA
Elephant Practicing for Basket Ball NBA. Lets Hope He/She will win. But any How His/Her Team is Very Strong.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Funny Pictures & Videos
This Blog is created for fun only. My main aim is to make others to laugh lol. You can share all the picture and videos here.
Thanks
lol4lol.blogspot.com
Thanks
lol4lol.blogspot.com
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